Warning! Overdose on Christmas Spirit!

Finally, after a serious amount of hassle just making this blog, and losing my first shot at this post (grr), here it comes! Very first entry, and certainly it will be the longest one ever!
I figure that I should first explain the stange and mysterious(ish) pseudo-English that is going to occur in this entry, and probably for all my posts. The vair, vair hilarious Louise Rennison has published a series of books called The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson. It's based on her life as a teenager, and written for that age group.
To explain the title of my blog (one that I thought about a long time, as I knew it had to be v. groovy), the definition of red bottomosity is this: Having the big red bottom. This is vair vair interesting vis-à-vis nature. When a lady baboon is “in the mood” for luuuurve, she displays her big red bottom to the male baboon. (Apparently he wouldn’t have a clue otherwise, but that is boys for you!!) Anyway, if you hear the call of the Horn you are said to be displaying red bottomosity.
The call of the Horn is, of course, the wail from the highlands of Scotland, causing all the peoples who hear it to get all-up-ons. Possibly.
More accurately, the Horn comes in three stages of fancying-osity. Specific horn: the horn for one person, General horn: for any person; Cosmic horn: for all persons. It is best to avoid people with the cosmic horn, but then, it is a contagious-type disease.
The Planet of the Loons is basically anywhere the crazy people are. Often, it is where the elderly mad (a.k.a. middle-aged people and pensioners) are. Figure it out for yourself. It is exhausting to be so knowledgeable about the insane language of the English. Or not.
More importantly, the next book, Love is a Many Trousered Thing, comes out at the end of April, and it is clearly an important-type read for all the people who can't grow up (ie: Me).
I understand that I, being one month away from 20 (Jan. 26th), should be eschewing my teenage practices with a firm hand. But seriously, these books are beyond your average teen fiction. They should also come with a warning label: It is not recommended that you read this book in public, and/or while consuming a beverage. Shooting liquids out of your nose is both embarassing and painful.
I promise, it's that funny. www.georgianicolson.com


Even more importantly than that, today is Chrimboli Day! (Technically it was yesterday, as it is now 3:23 am Frozen Tundra (a.k.a. Labrador) time.) There were many fabby presents to be had, and things to be eaten! Truly Christmas is the best time of year.

A few days ago, I was reading my old English prof (Chris Lockett)'s blog, and he had posted about his mom's serious decorating skills. Not to be mean to her, as I am sure she's quite a nice lady, but no one has seen Christmas decorations until you've spent Christmas at my aunt Carol's house (Her name is even Christmas-related, c'mon!). In fact, if you haven't done Christmas Penton-style (my mom's family), you don't even know what it's all about.

Carol's decorating style is, in a word, excessive. She makes Martha Stewart look minimalist. And also not very creative (Athough Martha is a saint to our family. We just disregard the whole jail thing). She's very pleased that I want to share her decorating abilities with you all.
First off, Carol has a tree in every room, including the bathroom. When the dog was still alive, there was a tree under the bed for the dog. Yeah, it's that bad.



This is the kitchen tree. Carol would like everyone to note that it's a partridge in a pear tree.




This is the tree in the study, where all our family pictures are. I wish everyone could see the 70's hairstyles my family sported. Hilarious!



This is the bathroom tree. Sorry for the darkness, but Carol doesn't believe in bright lighting.




Dittio for the tree in the tv room.




Guest room tree. Don't worry, it's not there for nobody to appreciate. My cousin Natasha (newly pregnant!) and her husband Darren have come home for Christmas this year.





This is the tree in Carol and John's bedroom, with wooden decorations that my uncle Bob made for the whole family a few years ago. We also have the same decorations on our tree at home.


The tree in the living room and dining room is, naturally the piece de resistance. It's big. Amazingingly big. Fantastically big. I'm not sure that the picture will do it justice, but I will say that it is at least 12 feet tall, and so wide that Carol had the opportunity to decorate it in one style in the living room, and another in the dining room. Clearly that made her very happy.




Living room. (Again with the low lighting)





Dining room. (With a winter wonderland theme, as Carol explained.)
She was also eager for me to notice the work she did on the table, particularly the centrepiece. Not wanting to let her down, I took two artsy fartsy pictures, along with a normal one.










Carol also really wanted me to "take note of all the vignettes". As Steve, my cousin, said, any flat surface, horizontal or vertical, will have stuff on it.




A choir of many species.





Snowglobe!! Man, endless entertainment.




A nativity set with Jesus, Mary, Joesph, and erm... Jesus' brothers Bob and John. Don't question me, I think I may have a nervy b.


These are part of the snowman collection, scattered around the living room.







Carol also collects angels. (She collects everything except dust.) Pretty!!!








This is Carol's little village of light-up porcelain thingers. Not one shelf, but three. Sorry for the angle on the picture, but it was hard to get a good shot in the hallway. I would also like to apologise to Dr. Lockett's mom at this point. Don't worry, you're probably spending your money on more useful things.













This is a small part of the Santa Claus collection. It's the smallest of the collections, but I have a feeling it's going to grow.



And now for my absolutely favourite part. It's not Christmas unless I see Carol's nutcracker collection. If it was the only decorating she did in the house, I would be satisfied, and it's safe to say that I'll eventually take over the collection, and probably all the decorations. As if anyone else would go through all the trouble each year, anyways!








Since Sheena said that nutcrackers are terrifying, I figured I'd take a picture of the most horrifying one of all. Merry Christmas, bestest pally!



The Nutcracker is absolutely the most beautiful ballet, and Carol even has a little music box of sorts that plays the music and has little spinning figurines. The first is a picture of her figurines of Drosselmeir and Marie, and the next one is the music box in action.










Ok, so it's clearly the most over-the-top decoating ever, but it wouldn't be Christmas without it!
I hope everyone had and keeps having a fantastic holiday. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!